


The Wallpaper Glistens

by Mei_MyselfandI



Series: Just Keep Pretending...And Maybe One Day They Would Be Perfect. [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drugs, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, M/M, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, cursing, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 16:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10391517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mei_MyselfandI/pseuds/Mei_MyselfandI
Summary: Philip didn’t understand how they were all so content, with pretend.It was sickening.He heard the crash of glass and it was time to get up. He barely remembers a point in time where everybody was actually happy. He’s almost certain it’s never existed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> (STORY HAS BEEN EDITED) 
> 
> I was struck by inspiration and i had to write this i couldn't help myself. Sorry.. *runs back to work on ILWAG* 
> 
> Based of Melanie Martinez old song "Dollhouse" 
> 
> Check tags for TW please!!
> 
> Enjoy!

“Philip, your family is so nice!”

 

“You and your siblings get along so well, like how?!”

 

“-And your parents they're so cute and romantic, I want a relationship like that!”

 

He laughs and smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes, “Thanks guys, I’ll see you all on Monday.” Once he heard a chorus of ‘byes’ he let the door slam shut. His features wrinkled in disgust, what the hell did they know? His family was a mess yet for some god awful reason everyone thinks they’re perfect. It was all bullshit. But, they kept pretending. 

 

Just keep pretending.

 

“Philip are your friends gone?”

 

“Yea, pa.”

 

His father gave him a weary smile, it was like plastic, “It's late you should go to sleep.”

 

“Where’s dad?” His pa flinched and his eyes ran around the room, searching for an excuse. 

 

“He went out." He was lying. His entire family was always lying. "Come on Philip up to bed, I have some work I need to get done.” 

 

“You’re always working pa.”

 

“Philip please-”

 

“Alright!” He threw his hands up in exasperation, “Alright, I'm going.” He trudged up the stairs to his room, but couldn't help stopping at his sister's room slowly opening the door. His nose crinkled in disgust, everything smelled.

 

“What do you want, Philip?”

 

“Jesus fucking christ, open a window will you? You’re not even trying to hide it anymore.”

 

“It's not like they care anyway. Go away Philip.”

 

“You know Pa hates it.”

 

“Yea well tell him to come here and do something about it, you know he won't." 

 

“Just be careful.”

 

“No one's ever overdosed on fucking weed, Philip!”

 

“That's not all you're doin-”

 

“Shut up!” She hissed.

 

He sighed tiredly, “Just trying to help-”

 

“No asked for it!”

 

“You know what, Angelica, Fuck you.”

 

“Fuck you too, Philip.” He slammed the door shut and walked into his room collapsing onto his bed. His family was so fucked up, full of lies, everything was a lie. He keeps telling them, but no one ever listens.  

 

Just keep pretending.

 

Just keep pretending.  

 

And maybe one day everything would be perfect.

  
  


\---

  


 

He picked up his phone and shut off the blaring alarm. He lied awake on his bed as he heard the muffled screaming in the kitchen. They were always arguing. Why was he surprised? He shouldn't be surprised. Philip couldn't remember the last his parents had a normal conversation. Unless of course, they were in company, then his dad and pa, looked so in love, they could rival Romeo and Juliet.

 

It was _sickening._

 

He heard the crash of glass and it was time to get up. He threw on some sweatpants and raggedy old t-shirt and walked the down stairs. The vicious screams finally stopped and watched his dad walked out the door-

 

“Fuck you, Alexander. I’ll be in the car get the kids ready.”

 

“John, I’m sorry wait-!”

 

They're the perfect family after all.

 

He walked down into the kitchen and watched his father quietly sweep up the white china on the floor.

 

“Pa-”

 

“Philip, please go get Angelica, Eliza and James.”  

 

“Pa you’re bleedin-”

 

“Go, Philip, please.” He walked back up the stairs trying ignore the quiet sobs echoing from the kitchen. Pa was always crying when he thought no one would hear him. Philip _always_ heard him. He didn't do anything though. He didn't turn back around and wrap his arms around his pa like he should have. He didn't go help him finish cleaning the white shards on the floor. He didn't help him bandage up his arm and tell him everything would be okay, because that would be lying. Because nothing would be okay. Because nothing was ever okay. Instead, he forced himself to walk back up focusing on getting his siblings. He reached Eliza’s door and pulled it open.

 

“Hey.”

 

“What?” She said practically ignoring him her hands moving quickly over the screen of her phone. 

 

“Get up and go get James. It's Sunday.”

 

“Why the fuck do we go to church? It's so stupid.” He shrugged. 

 

“Ask Dad.”

 

“Please, he wont even talk to me. Why don't, you ask him for me. You're his favorite after all.” He sneered. He never asked to be.

 

“Whatever.”

 

“It's true you know it!” Eliza taunted him back, her voice dripping with poison. He left the room ignoring her incessant taunting making his way to Angelina’s room not bothering to knock. She was either high or studying.. or both. 

 

“Get up, we're going to to church.”

 

“Ugh.” She cried putting her textbook down. “And I was just about to get high. What was yelling about this time?”

 

“Fuck if I know, Dad's not happy though.”

 

“He's _never_ happy.”

 

He scoffed and closed the door to her room returning to his. Philip grabbed his typical church clothes, a nice white shirt and black slacks, and went to the bathroom to change. He lightly ran a brush through his hair but, only succeeded in making it more puffy. He could always put it back into a ponytail, but then he'd look exactly like his dad, that was the last thing he needed.  He grabbed his phone and climbed down the stairs and watching Pa fiddled with Eliza’s dress and James's tie. Pa smiled down at them pride gleamed in his eyes. Philip’s judging eyes ran over his father's clothes- expensive dark green suit, a neatly pressed white button up, a silver watch and a silver ring that hangs on to his skin, like chains, binding him to a man he didn't love.

 

Everyone's always blinded by his expensive clothing and jewelry that he pridefully showcases. But nobody really sees the flask in his back pocket, the array of cigarettes stashed in the ‘do not open cabinet’, or the depression medication he thinks no one sees him take. Philips keeps telling them- _“I’m worried about Pa.”_ -but no one ever listens and the wallpaper glistens. Everyone thinks that their perfect. Well, he's sees things that nobody else see.

 

Just keep pretending.

 

Just keep pretending.

 

“Everybody ready?” Pa asked and they all nodded. “Now everybody remember to behave, alright. Don't make your father mad.” Places, places everybody, once they stepped out that door, they're perfect. The perfect family.

 

Just keep pretending.

 

Just keep pretending.

 

And maybe one day they would be perfect.

  
  


\---

  


 

His dad’s arm was wrapped around his pa’s waist and they laughed conversing with Theodosia's parents. He wanted to throw up. It made him _sick_ to watch them pretend. They laughed and giggled their masks a perfect exterior, and no one noticed a thing. No one but him. Pa laughed a little too loud, a little too forced and he ignored the way his dad's arm tightened, warningly. He ignored when he saw his pa making eye contact with some other man across the room--

 

_“Pa who’s that?”_

 

_“Philip you can’t tell anyone. Promise me you won't tell anyone.” His father pulled him away from the front lobby the taller man vanishing from his sight._

 

_“I promise Pa.” He pretended to walk back up stairs, but turned around last minute and watched his pa bury his hands in the tall man’s shirt and press a kiss to his lips._

 

_“I love you, Thomas.”_

 

_“I love you too, Alexander.” His father smiled and for once Philip thought maybe, just maybe it could be real._

 

\--Thomas if he remembered correctly. He ignored it when he saw his dad get a little too handsy with uncle Lafayette--

 

_“Philip! Jesus christ!” His stepped out of the bathroom leaving uncle Lafayette inside._

 

_“Dad, what are you..?”_

 

_“Philip... Philip my son, you can’t tell anyone okay. Please, don’t tell your father. Promise me.”_

 

_“Okay.. okay, I promise.” He never liked keeping things from Pa._

 

_He did it anyway._

 

\--he ignored it all. It was so blaringly obvious and yet he was the only one that could see it. When they finally sat down as the priest came up to the podium and began to speak. He ignored it too getting lost in his mind and his thoughts, enjoying his peace while he could. After the ceremony was done dad had insisted they go take pictures- because they were a upstanding high class family after all, _absolutely perfect_. He grumbled unhappily next to his little brother who was caught up in a phone game.

 

“What's wrong with you?” James asked him.

 

“I fucking hate pictures.” he hissed.  

 

“We all do, chill, go smoke of Angelica’s weed, it’s not as bad as you’d think.”

 

“You too?” James shrugged and walked faster to go stand under Pa’s arm. Philip didn’t understand how they were all so _content_ , with pretend. He turned his head and saw some cute girls and winked at them. They giggled back whispering to each other. He didn’t even like them, but he had reputation to uphold. Philip’s eyes ran around the room searching for his friends, when he spotted Theodosia smiling bright as her parents enveloped her in hugs and kisses- and Philip _burned_ green with envy. He turned back to his family, all tight smiles and strained shoulders, all pretend. He watched his the cameraman put his family into place- ‘You stand here, you here. Till your head like this, smile like this, wider, brighter.’

 

They were like dolls.

 

Just keep pretending.

 

Just keep pretending.

 

And maybe one day they would be perfect.

 

“Philip get over here!” Pa called and he slowly walked forward his feet dragging on the ground. Reluctantly, he stood next to his dad, still frowning. His Pa noticed and made a motion with his hands, “Philip, smile for the picture. Pose with your sister, won't you be a good brother?”

 

He sagged, “This is stupid.”

 

“Philip!” his dad chided, “Don’t talk to your father that way.” He clenched his teeth, It wasn't any different than what his dad was always saying to Pa, actually those words were much worse, but Philip kept his mouth shut and stayed quiet. He wasn’t in the mood for any more bruises when they got home. One day, he tells himself, they’ll see what goes down in the kitchen.  

 

“Sorry.”

 

Just keep pretending.

 

Just keep pretending.

 

“Are you ready?” the cameraman called.

 

“One.”

 

“Two.”

 

“Three.”

 

He smiles.

 

No ever listens.

 

The wallpaper glistens.

 

Everyone thinks that they’re perfect.

 

Please don't let them look through the curtains.  

 

He see things that nobody else sees.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I'll continue this or not, maybe I'll make into a series if it gets any recognition, but for now its just a one-shot. 
> 
> If you do want more leave a kudos or comment (their my life force) and thank you so much for reading.


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